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Loss of Libido in Women

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Loss of Libido:

“Sexual desire is one of the most difficult to define because it is more psychological than physiological;” .It is a lack of interest in sex for several months of the past year.”In short, women know it when they don’t feel it. “Loss of libido in women, or low sexual desire, is the most common sexual problem for women. It can happen to men, too – but because it only affects about half as many men as women, it is not men’s top sex problem.

Is Loss of Libido in Women Normal?

“Don’t call loss of libido a disorder,” How can it be a dysfunction if one-third of women, no matter what their age, report that they lose interest.“Low sexual desire is not a disease; it is the understandable result of an imbalance in your life, in your relationship, your life circumstances or your body.

The Causes of Loss of Libido in Women:
Biology plays a significant role in loss of libido. 
“It’s a control device – pregnancy is a threatening condition for women – it renders them vulnerable, they can’t run from predators,” Men can afford to have sex at any moment, it doesn’t make them vulnerable. But for women it’s much riskier, which can cause loss of libido.

Socialization in our culture causes loss of libido in women. 
If biology doesn’t get you then social standards will. “We found that the messages women get from society about double standards has a big effect on their sexual desire,” 

The quality of the relationship affects libido. 
For women, “it’s not what happens in the bedroom their desire arises when they are interacting with their partner, just touching, talking, when they go on a hike or a picnic, that starts to get them sexually interested” . If the quality of those intimate but non-sexual contacts isn’t being attended to, most women just won’t feel “in the mood.”

Hormones influence libido.  
“Hormonal fluctuations with pregnancy, breast-feeding and then with perimenopause later in life all can lessen desire,” Vaginal dryness, which can result from declining estrogen levels, can make sex painful and cause loss of libido. 

Medical conditions and medications can cause loss of libido. 
Depression and the SSRI anti-depressants used to treat it can also inhibit desire. So can certain blood pressure lowering drugs. Conditions such as endometriosis, fibroids and thyroid disorders can also cause loss of libido in women.

Changing life stages and stress influence libido.  
Life changes especially the birth of a child can cause a loss of libido in women. 


Tips for Rekindling Sexual Desire:

Remember, frequency is not the measure of a healthy sex drive. Your feelings are what count. If you look forward to sex, and feel good about it, before during and after, that is the true measure of libido. Here’s how to help make your love life interesting and satisfying again.

Try selfishness to boost libido: “The thing that most inhibits desire in women is caretaking taking care of the kids, taking care of the husband”. “Caretaking makes a woman think about others. But if you can’t be selfish in the most positive terms it is the capacity to be focused on the self in the presence of others you can’t have an orgasm.”  

►Focus on small, private pleasures: For the woman with four kids, feeling asexual and numb to all pleasure. We suggested that the woman focus on her own simple pleasures. Hire a babysitter and go to a movie, enjoy a fragrant, leisurely bath to remind herself she deserves to feel pleasure. Start small and build.

►Reconnect safely and non-sexually to combat loss of libido: For many couples, before you can think about improving the sex, it is important to repair the intimate connection.It is simply a long hug, with both partners clothed, lasting 5-to-10 minutes until you feel relaxed and at peace. This reconnection“maintaining your sense of self when you are emotionally and physically close to others.” 

►Changing the scenery fuels libido in women: Passion feeds on a sense of newness and excitement boredom is the enemy. “When things get routine it hurts the libido,change rooms in the house." 

►Try self-stimulation to help loss of libido: “Women who are able to masturbate are more likely to be more satisfied with a partner and experience orgasm more consistently,It is a myth that if women enjoy masturbation, they won’t want a partner it’s the reverse. You learn what feels good and you can express that to your partner, and guide your partner.”   

►Talk about what you like and want to boost libido: The worst thing you can do, if you have been avoiding sex together, is to stop talking about it as if the problem will disappear. To keep the distance between you from growing, talk about your willingness to connect. Read sex books together, look at the pictures, laugh and let your partner know what you’d like him to try with you next time to take off any immediate pressure.

►Use lubricants to combat loss of libido in women:Vaginal dryness does not have to get in the way of enjoyment. If you go outside the local pharmacy, you can find a wide variety of lubricants, in different flavors and aromas. Just shopping for them together can be erotic. Estrogen cream, applied directly into the vagina, can help increase vaginal secretions. Unlike oral estrogens that carry some cancer risks, estrogen creams are considered generally safe. Still, talk with your doctor about whether this treatment might be right for you before trying it.

►Stop worrying about how you look naked and otherwise:“Women are harsher on evaluating their own bodies than men are.Your partner probably finds you more attractive than you think you are.” So relax and be kinder to yourself enjoy.

►Focus on the whole body to combat loss of libido: Where sexual satisfaction is concerned, paradoxically, the longer, meandering route can be the shortest path to pleasure. Don’t head straight for the genitals  encourage your partner, by example, to tease and take detours. Be pleasure oriented, not goal oriented. Continue to take your time even when you shift gears into a more sexual mode. And remember, it is not only your partner’s job to turn you on, desire should begin with you.

►Have realistic expectations to avoid loss of libido:Be realistic in your expectations. Women can take about three times as long (or longer) to reach orgasm as men and, by some estimates, only “26% of women report that they always have orgasms.” But even without the Big O, women report enjoying the sex and feeling closer to their partner afterwards. So mentally shift gears from Mommy Mode to Sex Goddess Mode. And give yourself permission to try new things you may surprise yourself.